A fateful meeting between two gods
by VixterHellcat16
Summary: Ever wondered what went down when Hermes and Thoth met? Here is the untold story, hinted at by Thoth in the red pyramid, of what happened when the two deities met.


**A/N: Hi there, I'm new to the Kane chronicles and have just finished reading the red pyramid. I couldn't help but notice that Thoth mentioned he and Hermes met and I was shocked to find that nobody did a fanfiction on it, so I set to work immediately and made my version; enjoy.**

**Oh and guys; would you kindly do the disclaimer for me:**

**Thoth: She does not own the Kane chronicles...**

**Apollo: Percy Jackson and the Olympians...**

**Anubis: any of the characters in the aforementioned series...**

**Hermes: Or Hermes delivery (yes it's real)**

**Thanks guys, now, on with the story...**

I sighed as I looked through my notes for my latest project; "the phychological effect of cuddly toys upon humans," for some inexplicable reason nobody had ever thought about how childhood objects can affect the human psyche and so I was at an apparent dead end, with a serious case of... what is the term? Ah, yes, writer's block. Putting an even bigger dampener on my already terrible day. I mean, it's bad enough that I had to "convince" those guys from EPA to let me keep the ibises and baboons. I mean really, what harm are they actually doing, unless you count the time Khufu mooned an old lady or when one of my ibises thought that proffessor had a shrimp in his hair... anyway moving on. I think the last time I had this bad of a day was the day I met Hermes, of course we made up after we were forced to colaberate after Carter met Percy, but that's another story. It just goes to show you, first impressions aren't everything. My mind drifted back to the day we met.

_It was a beautiful day in Memphis and I'd decided to congratulate myself with a mocha for finishing that report on "the potential uses of Octopus ink." Well, the second I_ _walked through the threshold to enter my office, having drank my coffee, an entire bucket of mysterious Neon green gunge was dumped all over me. I'll admit that my scream was rather high pitched and undignified in proportion to my gender. I wiped the incredibly viscous goo from my eyes only to find my office in utter chaos, well more than usual. All of my essays all had F- scribbled on them in red marker pen (the nerve) postit notes with crude drawings and phrases covered every inch of the wall, my ibises (whom had all been dyed hot pink by the way) were flying around the room squaking in terror and confusion, my baboons all looked disgruntled half of them had been messily stuffed into tailored monkey suits, the rest were wearing straightjackets shreiking in rage at a man sat in __**my **__chair with his feet up on __**my **__desk laughing himself stupid! _

_He was of average height and looked about 30 years old, with an athletic figure, olive toned skin, curly black hair and twinkling blue eyes. "Excuse me, but who are you and what have you done with my office? Heck, what are you doing __**in **__my office?" I demanded angrily._

_The man continued to chuckle before saying amusedly "So, you're Thoth, the one that people muddled me up with. I would've thought you'd've had a better sense of humour. No wonder they changed the city's name to Hermopolis, they saw that I was much more interesting. I mean, who would study "The importance of prune juice in the 18__th__ century?" Boring! It sounds like something Athena would've writen after me and Apollo tricked her into binging on Dionysus' special brew!"_

_My eyes narrowed "Hermes!" I growled before completely losing it "THE ONLY REASON THEY CHANGED THE NAME WAS BECAUSE THERE WAS CONFLICTING RELIGIOUS VEIWS AND THE BELIEF OF THE CURRENTLY RULING RELIGIOUS GROUP WAS THE ONE THAT STUCK! ALSO, MY PROJECTS ARE NOT BORING! THEY ARE SOPHISTICATED RESOURCES ON THE PATTERN OF SOCIETY AND IMPORTANT UNIVERSE MATTER! SOMETHING AN UNCIVILIZED BARBARIAN WITH THE BRAIN THE TENTH OF THE SIZE OF A PEANUT, SUCH AS YOURSELF, WOULD FAIL TO UNDERSTAND!"_

_Hermes, much to my irritation simply yawned and dismissed my comment with an insulting "whatever you say, bird brain."_

_I sighed in resignition and irritation at the impertinent nickname. "Could you at least get off of my desk, please." I asked pinching the bridge of my nose._

_He smirked. "well, since you said please..." he said sliding his feet off of the desk and hopping up from the chair._

_I heaved another heavy sigh, "why are you even here?" I asked more to myself than the mischeivous god in front of me._

_He chucked "I came to deliver this," he said gesturing to a box in the corner, "surely you must know that the university uses Hermes delivery service, not that the mortals know that I run it of course. So when I saw your name on the delivery list I grew curious and decided to deliver it personally, and so, here I am." As he finished he threw his arms out in a gesture towards my trashed office. "Which reminds me, you'll need to sign this for the delivery for your mass spectrometer." He pointed to a dotted line on an electronic pad. _

_I sighed before picking up the stylus to sign it; the sooner I signed the sooner he'd have to leave. I noticed two snakes curling around the stylus before a raspy female voice said "Don't go too hard on him dear. Hermes just tends to get carried away is all." I was so shocked I almost dropped the stylus._

_Hermes lips twitched "I see you've become aquainted with George and Martha." I swear he did that on purpose._

"_Yeah, he's a pretty nice guy and not a bad boss when he gives us rats. Though I have to admit, this is the best prank he's pulled in ages." An equally raspy male voice snickered._

"_George, how can you think of your stomach at a time like this? We only eat half an hour ago!"_

"_What can I say, delivering stuff is a hungry job. Besides, I do all the real work around here!"_

"_That's not true! You're just jealous because Hermes likes me best."_

"_Does not!"_

"_Does too!"_

"_Liar!"_

"_Why you little..."_

_Hermes groaned wearily while the snakes wrestled, as if he'd heard this arguement a million times before. "If you two don't shut up I'll turn you back into a cell phone and put you on vibrate as soon as he's finished signing. And stop fighting or you'll get all tangled up, like last time!" he snapped before muttering "it took me three hours to de-tangle them. Worse than Apollo's headphones..." I couldn't help but feel sympathetic as I signed, if he had to put up with that regularly... well, let's just say I would've gone crackers centuries ago. My respect for him increased by the smallest fraction, I mean the guy did just waste my beloved office, so I couldn't respect him fully._

_I handed him back a grumbling George and Martha. He smiled a genuine smile before saying "until we meet again, bird brain." With that his form disolved leaving only a group of scared animals and a back-breaking clean up job._

Admittedly the prank would've been funny if it hadn't've been played on me. Anyway, that rather disasterous meeting was behind us and we were quite good friends now, he was intellegent in his own crafty way. And he'd even introduced me to Apollo, who despite being somewhat dim (ironic considering he was a sun god) and gods-awful at poetry, he helped my come on with leaps and bounds in playing the guitar and also helped me discover a wide variety of rock genres, which I enjoyed listening to and playing. Maybe they'd like to go out for a drink at some point this evening if they have time.

**A/N: Thank you for reading and kindly review please. Vixter-twihard ;).**


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